People...?

Good tidings to all of our faithful followers. Today's post is purely Aaron's point of view and the sponsors of this show take no responsibility for anything printed below. (insert fast-paced lawyer speak as to the legalities of the aforementioned statement).

I went to the supermarket today to cash in our empties and the line was unusually short for 3:00p so I was excited to get going. Only one person in line and the "dude" who fixes the machines was working on the other. I patiently waited for whomever to finish first and daydreamed about other things I could be doing instead of standing under a rickety shade awning, awaiting my turn at the recycling machine amidst the all too familiar smell of stale beer and cigarettes (not from me, mind you, it is just the way the location is).

Finally, after not too long a period in the stale stank, the woman finished with her allotted 144 cans for that machine and was on the next. I took my spot and started to pour the first box of cans into the machine and listened to the whir, clank of the magical can recylcler when about half way through the cans, the box that holds the cans inside the machine filled up. I had to then stick my hands into this metal sticky mess of cans and load them back into my box so I could try the other machine. Success! All cans went through no problem. Now onto the store to get my purchase for the day...beer and ice cream. Does anyone need anything else, ever?

I get to said beer aisle and perused the case searching for the perfect deal. Well let's say best deal on Bud Light because that's what the Lady (you know who you are) likes. I don't know why, but it baffles me every time to see this: 18 pack - $12.99 special price; 24 pack - $19.99 special price; and a six pack is $5.49. I will go ahead and let you do the math and try to explain to me how the 24 pack is a better deal and move on.

The next stop is ice cream and this was an easy choice, almost. I was going for cheap but good and found a 1/2 gallon for $2.49 of cookies and cream. I would have gone Rocky Road, but the Lady doesn't like nuts (keep your jokes to yourself) so I went with Cookies 'n' Cream. Now with beer and ice cream in hand, I make a bee line for the "about 12 items" line. (They have since changed the sign from "12 items or less" obviously because of the egregious grammatical error).

Rounding the end of the ice cream aisle, I see an empty line with a cashier just waiting to service me (OK that was meant for jokes). Then out of the corner of my eye, I see a less than bright father and his two equally bright children meandering towards the checkout line. I, being the gentleman that I am, paused to see if the father would see that I only had two items and let me go in front of him as he had 6 gallons of paint, 3 sets of rollers, 3 sets of roller brushes, about 5 horse hair brushes and many rolls of tape. Now if you are paying attention, you will notice that this person is in the "12" items line and he has well over the suggested amount.

Just as I thought. The father looked at me and my meager bounty and proceeded to unload his basket, without the help of his offspring, each time glancing back at me with nothing but a mouth breathing expression on his face. Once all of his items were on the grocery mover I noticed the cashier giving me the "I really can't believe this guy" look and I shot her back the "I halfway expected it, I mean look at the guy" look and we shared a silent laugh and smile.

All of his items have been scanned and it came time to give the rewards card, because it is important to get those points for the gas discount. But he had been searching his over packed wallet the entire time the transaction was taking place (pause and respect the alliteration), and I knew he wasn't going to find it in time. Try the alternative phone number...nope didn't work. Try it one more time, this time saying each number with the precision of a jackhammer. Finally, the obviously smarter of the three, the young kinda trampy 14 yr old girl, wearing the shorts that are way to short for a 14 yr old girl to wear, and wearing sunglasses inside the store, piped up and said "No dad! It's not that number, duh! It's blah blah blah".

At this point I offered to use my rewards card because, hey, they bought a lot of paint and it isn't cheap and for every $100 you spend, you get 10 cents off per gallon of gasoline. He again looked at me like I had just spoken Farsi and proceeded to give the correct number to his account and then waddled out of the store with his brood of underachievers in tow.

I actually surprised myself with how well I kept calm. It did help when the cashier said "Beer and Ice cream? That sounds perfect." She probably noticed the corners of my mouth starting to utter something I may have regretted and averted a scene quite nicely. Well done check out person.

Anyway, that is about all that I have for now. Thanks for listening and stay tuned.